Stop thinking about work and reclaim your nights!

The other day a client remarked that they left work depressed every weekday and thought about work more than they cared to admit. 

We've all had jobs that leave us ranting and raving well into our non-work time or ruminating over difficult conversations, mistakes or what might have been. 

Even jobs and businesses we love can take over our time off!

Some people argue that it's okay to think about work all the time if you love it, but I believe that no matter the quality of your working life, you need to switch off and live a life outside of work. 

Happily, I'm supported by a range of research on that!

So how do we go about kicking work out of our heads and making the most of our time off?

First things first...

1. Get conscious

- Decide to evict work from your mind -

How angry are you when you realise you're only getting paid $10 an hour because you are WORKING ALL THE TIME. Yep, work is happening in your head long after you clock off. 

Half the battle to having real time off is deciding that work is not going to take over your evenings and weekends, hell, even your mornings (I'm looking at you morning wake up emailer) any more.

It's bad for your health, your relationships and your productivity. Soak that in for a minute. 

- Make boundaries -

Some people don't have enough support at work and really need to workshop what has happened or will happen at work of an evening. If this is you, set a timer with a loud alarm and don't go over it. 

Give yourself 5, 10 or 15 minutes to get things off your chest or workshop an issue. When the alarm goes off, it's all over.

Trust me, your partner or housemate will be thrilled!

If you want to nut out a problem, write it down and at least that way your brain wont be trying to remember to remind you all night. Tell yourself firmly that you will work out the problem faster with a fresh brain (and on the clock). 

 

2. Transition properly between work and home

• What do you do before you leave work?

One of the best ways to leave work at work is to write a list of what to do when you come in the next day or week.

It helps your mind know that everything is taken care of so that it can relax.

• What do you do on your way home from work?

It's time to get conscious about transitioning between work and home. 

Social workers and other professionals with intense client interactions have processes for transitioning for a reason: It protects mental and physical wellbeing.

Some transitions that work well are:

- Listening to a funny podcast or radio station.

- Changing clothes.

- Having a shower and imagining the day washing away.

- Imagining dropping clients at a tram or bus stop on your way home.

- Imagining putting work in a box that you will open again tomorrow. 

- For those with a lot of tension: Stretching, sprinting on the spot and yes, screaming in the car (not at anyone). 

Try putting reminders to yourself so that you can leave work at work. 

3. Create time off that you are excited about!

We get so tired sometimes that we forget life is meant to be joyful. I'm not talking about being happy all the time. I'm talking about simple pleasures, laughter, good friends and things that make your insides exhale and feel free.

So what would feel exciting tonight?

What would feel like freedom?

What would feel like love?

What would make you proud to have done (love this one from Susan Hyatt)?

Remember: The more you do things you love instead of living on autopilot, the more energy you will have (within reason!).

It will take more effort than the couch, but the rewards will be huge.

You can do it!

Big love,
Lara xx

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, a life coach and specialist in wellbeing at work. I support professionals to discover and live with conscious ambition through private coaching, group workshops and gorgeous retreats. 

I'd love to keep in touch - let's connect on my Facebook and Instagram pages.

 

Five steps to feeling fabulous with your work look.

There's no denying that when you feel foxy and sparky on the outside you also get an internal boost.

It feels awesome when your outside represents your glorious inside. 

The thing is that dressing for work can be so soul sucking. So many spoken and unspoken rules hemming in (boom boom) us all. 

So what is the secret to feeling awesome in what you adorn yourself with each day?

Sparky check

Go through your wardrobe, however big or small and ask yourself this:

Do I feel sparky in this item of clothing. Do I get energised at the thought of wearing it. 

* This question is inspired by Marie Kondo's method, which you might like to check out. 

If the answer is no, it needs a new home. Give it to friends or charity. Sell it to a consignment store like Recycle Boutique or Penny Lane Clothing Exchange in Melbourne. 

If you find you need an item to fill a gap in your wardrobe, check out the second-hand market and clothing brands that make high quality, ethical clothing. Buy one special thing rather than 10 made in terrible conditions that will fall apart. 

Streamline it

Believe it or not, I'm not advocating for shopping up a storm. I'm more in favour of 

buying things that are versatile (should be worn 3 out of 4 seasons with layering - thanks Meagan Harding), long lasting and that you feel great in.

Having a smaller wardrobe that feels great is low fuss, better for the environment and for your wallet... maybe. 

You save time and angst by knowing that everything fits, is comfortable and makes you feel great. Time you can better use elsewhere?

So why not try a minimalist wardrobe or even a 'uniform' as is advocated by Adrianna Huffington, Christine Carter and this fabulous woman who wears the same shirt every day to work!

Does the idea of a smaller wardrobe or repeating items give you chest palpitations? 

You might have bought into the idea that women need to be always wearing different clothes to be 'enough'. Most of us believe this or have believed it (and deprogrammed ourselves). Thankfully that is a belief that isn't true. You're fabulous no matter what you wear. 

 

Bring back joy and creativity

Remember how fun it was to get dressed up when you were little? When there were no rules and you just went with what you felt like?

How about dropping some of the rules in how you dress? Would the sky fall in if you wore those bright red shoes or sparkly shirt? 

The more you can delight yourself with what you put on your body, the better! I'm not talking the 'people will think this looks good' or 'this feels appropriate'. I'm digging for the 'I feel exhilarated in this, I feel great' even if it is super scary to wear it. 

I dare you to wear it!!

My approach

My personal approach to feeling fab at work is a work in progress. I've downsized my wardrobe a lot but am still finding things I am clinging to that I feel gross in. 

I often dress in ways that I am excited by that scare the pants off me. Breaking my childhood rules of 'dressing in a classic way' were surprisingly hard to throw off but get more fun all the time.

I've donated a lot and have another bag to take to the consignment store of more special clothes I'd like some money back on. 

Like anything in life, how we dress is an invitation to be more of ourselves and get to know ourselves better. 

It can be light and fun. Easy and straightforward.

It can be challenging: An opportunity to drop old beliefs and be aligned with your deeper self. 

Imagine being so clear on what you want and need that decisions become almost effortless - everything from what to wear to work to what career to pursue! That's what you get from working with me. Click here to arrange a free session to talk about what you want more of in your work/life. 

So much love to you!

Lara xx

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, a life coach and specialist in wellbeing at work. I support professionals to discover and live with conscious ambition through private coaching, group workshops and gorgeous retreats. 

I'd love to keep in touch - let's connect on my Facebook and Instagram pages.

Are you being an adult or a child in your life?

This week something inside me snapped. I woke up inside when I heard Ched Myers talk about 'how domesticated' we had all become.

I interpreted it his comment as saying we had become so passive, submissive and docile socially and politically.

How we had started to prefer thinking hopeful thoughts over acting to promote hope-filled action and outcomes.

For me, the snap is about how I keep waiting for government to wake up and do something really meaningful about climate change.

I keep hoping and signing petitions. I get a compost bin and have spirited discussions about how screwed it all is. I share articles on Facebook. I occasionally go to a protest when I can. I pray for our leaders to wake up, to work for the common good, to lead with love and not fear.

I know that these actions contribute to something but I also know that they feel like dancing around the edges. 

They feel safe.

They are actions that speak to waiting for the experts/politicians to make it all better.

They are actions that speak to choosing hope over hope-filled action.

They are actions that are pretty circular, insular and unsatisfying.

They are actions that are done while waiting to be rescued.

They feel like the actions of a well meaning child, not an adult with infinitely more choice, power and agency.

Do you know what I mean? Does this resonate with your life?

It made me think about all the places in our lives that we are waiting around for a saviour or not taking responsibility.

Hoping for the best but doing f*ck all about making a change.

Where are you waiting to be rescued, for an expert to take control or for the 'grown up' to sort it out?

Is it with your health, your career, your city, your workplace, your country?

Is the grown up you are waiting on your boss, your partner, a politician/political party or someone else?

How's it working for you? Are you ready to be an adult yet?

Instead of waiting, what would it look like to be an adult about it?

Well for a start, it would look like recognising that we all have agency to speak up and out. To push for change. To do it in such a way that we don't destroy ourselves in the process.

We can check our thinking and notice that we are blessedly free to take action in almost every setting.

We can stop waiting for permission and give it to ourselves.

We can start small and carry on, one foot after another. 

We can seek help when we need it and let community flourish around our inspired action. Because God knows we all want meaning and to contribute - we are YEARNING for it.

For me, being an adult about climate change means I'm going to start visiting politician's offices in person, maybe one a week and saying that it's not good enough, that we need so much more. 

I'm not an expert and I'm not waiting for one to have my say.

I am finding and using my voice. 

I am not waiting anymore, I want to be with the ones trying to save the world, not the ones on the sidelines hoping.

This is new for me too. It feels vulnerable and small but also important and meaningful and strong.

I'd love to hear other ways to help and please, let me know what action you are going to take today or this week!

Enough waiting!

Big love,
Lara xx

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, a life coach and specialist in wellbeing at work. I support professionals to discover and live with conscious ambition through private coaching, group workshops and gorgeous retreats. 

I'd love to keep in touch - let's connect on my Facebook and Instagram pages.

What to do when you hate your work - your action plan

The other day a friend sent me a text saying 'I'm fine, I just hate my work SO much'.

Oy. If only work was three hours a week and not 40 (plus).

If we are honest, work gets the best of us for around three to five days a week. 

When we love our work - it's challenging, meaningful, inspiring and fun - spending time at work is life giving.

But what do you do when you hate your work?

First up. Get specific.

Why do you hate it?

Find a page or a person to thrash this one out with using the following helpful categories...

The three Cs...Content, colleagues and culture. 

What is good and unsatisfactory about the content of your work - the topic of your work?

What is good and unsatisfactory about your colleagues (including supervisors)?

What is good and unsatisfactory about the culture of your workplace - xxxxxxx

Why are you still there?

This is an interesting question. It shows up the mental cage we have built about why we have no choice, have to stay, are stuck...

What are your beliefs about why you are still there? Do you feel like you have a choice in the matter?

Do you actually deeply want to stay but need to iron out some big kinks with colleagues, your own thinking or confidence, or your role?

Make a plan

Does leaving this job feel great in your body or not? If it feels delicious to leave, it's a good sign to go.

If it feels horrible to leave, it may be that you have kinks to iron out instead.

Either way, you'll have to grow to face these challenges and you get both growth (and the courage that comes with it) as well as the joy that comes with doing work you are happy with!

So it's time to make a plan. 

Start looking for work that you want or at least that feels good for now (if you're unsure what you want). Use the information you gathered in section 1 to see what you like and would want in future roles, colleagues and work cultures.

Start working on those kinks! Get support you need to do it. Talk, think, practice and you'll be amazed at how quickly your work life can change.

You are not powerless, you can do this!

You might have been thinking about your work for ages, have tried different approaches and are feeling stuck, frustrated and need a hand. I'm your gal. I specialise in helping people thrive at work - whether that means finding a new job, starting a business or elevating their current role or business. Your work life can be SO much better. It can be awesome and you deserve awesome (we all do!).

Big love,
Lara xx

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, a life coach and specialist in wellbeing at work. I support professionals to discover and live with conscious ambition through private coaching, group workshops and gorgeous retreats. 

I'd love to keep in touch - let's connect on my Facebook and Instagram pages.

The reason for all your bad habits (you might be surprised!)

The 'bad' habits that I struggle with now have been in my life for a long time.

When I was growing up and upset, I remember industriously (and sneakily) making my own icing and eating it in my room... you'll never guess what my go to is now when I'm upset, will you?

Turning to sweets when I am upset is a bad habit for me. Sweets, of course, are gorgeous and wonderful in moderation, but not as a way to avoid feeling emotions that are difficult.

There is no point beating myself up about this habit though, in fact, the only time it shifts is when I see it for what it is - an outdated way of looking after myself.

Which brings me to my point -

Your bad habits are all there for a reason and that reason is love.

I firmly believe that our bodies are always desperately trying to look after us but just haven't always integrated the best ways to do that, coming from the wisest part of ourselves.

So my practise with food is shifting and believe me it is an ongoing PRACTICE to retrain my brain.

I go back to my breath.

I listen to what I'm thinking (spoiler alert - it wont be true).

I notice how I am feeling.

I breathe slower and more deeply.

I soothe and love myself.

I check what I really want and need - much to my horror, it is rarely, if ever a sweet!!

What do your "bad" habits cover up?

What do you really need?

Approaching the habits we want to change with empathy, curiosity and compassion is the way to make meaningful and loving changes that we desire.

With much love and tenderness,

Lara xx

P.S. If you need a little more love and tenderness to yourself, there is still a spot at my beautiful urban retreat - Set Me Free Weekend Retreat! Read more about it and sign up here. 

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, a life coach and specialist in wellbeing at work. I support professionals to discover and live with conscious ambition through private coaching, group workshops and gorgeous retreats. 

I'd love to keep in touch - let's connect on my Facebook and Instagram pages.

One quick fix to make everything better.

I can go from optimistic and sunny to anxious and distracted when one thing is reduced in my day - sleep.

Sleep is truly the one thing that makes everything better, easier, clearer, yet we sacrifice it for other parts of our lives over and over. It's proven to make us more successful, efficient and happier.

A piece of research I conducted at ANU showed that people cut down sleep to the minimum required to function (not thrive) and routinely 'trade' sleep for time to themselves and to relax at night. 

The thing is, it's an ongoing cycle. 

The less sleep you get, the more time you need to wind down and relax - the more 'me' time you need because you are zoned out, unfocused, flat and fatigued.

So what is stopping you from sleeping enough, not to survive, but to really thrive?

Regardless of whether getting more sleep is mostly in your control or not, there is plenty you can do. Firstly, let's look at what is within our control.

Factors (largely) outside your control

Let's kick off with the things we can't control. I'm talking puppies, young children, varying work shifts.

All I can say about these factors is that you have to get more sleep when you can - whenever you can.

This is rich, coming from someone who didn't sleep when people came over to look after my baby daughter because I wanted to chat - BUT - you live and you learn.

Sleep is actually the base need. Everything will go better with more sleep. 

You will make better parenting decisions and enjoy it more. 

You will enjoy your puppy more.

You will enjoy your whole life more in the case of varying shifts.

Factors within our control

Here's a shout out to the people on their phones til midnight even though they came home wrecked.

To the peeps doing work on their laptops at night when the work can wait.

To the ones binge watching a new series when they hate themselves the next day.

Sleep decisions are within our control when we have choice over when we go to bed and can sleep through the night (insomnia is another beast again - to be addressed in another column).

If sleep choices are within our control...

Why aren't you choosing sleep?

It could be because what you want to do gives more immediate pleasure than sleep does - the old pleasure now, pain later way we choose (that always works!).

It might also be because of what you are thinking.

So tell me, why do you 'need' to stay up late at night or not go to bed early?

Write down three reasons why. Go on, actually grab a pen and think about it.

What is at the heart of your reasoning?

What are you avoiding?

What aren't you prioritising?

What is really stopping you from getting enough sleep to feel great and enjoy the success associated with that improved level of functioning?

Sleep is a critical way to get more energy at work, but it isn't the only way - I'm giving you all a free webinar - How to get more energy at work - this Monday night. Register here and you'll also get the replay. 

To true recovery and success!

xx Lara

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, a life coach and specialist in wellbeing at work. I support professionals to discover and live with conscious ambition through private coaching, group workshops and gorgeous retreats. 

I'd love to keep in touch - let's connect on my Facebook and Instagram pages.

Truth time: Is it possible to 'leave work at work'?

I once worked at a lovely place doing work that I couldn't stand. The monotony of it, the way it went against what I knew of best practice, the challenges with working with my boss. Oy.

You can imagine how I came home each day. Sure I was bloody glad to be out the door, but I had a work hangover every night and no energy the next morning.

Let's face facts - no one leaves work at work. No one. So what can we do about it?

Even if you don't actively think about work when you clock off, your body, emotions and mind are responding to how you have spent the biggest chunk of your day.

So tell me, what do you bring home from work?

Do you bring home energy, interesting stories and a good mood?

Do you bring home exhaustion, frustration and hopelessness?

Or are you somewhere in between?

Know this, how you spend your work day, for better or worse, effects everything from your relationships to your sleep quality.

The sooner we acknowledge how our happiness and respect at work, how we care for ourselves at work and how long we work for impact not only us both those closest to us, the better!

That's because once you recognise it, you can compassionately act to improve things and watch the benefits flow from you to others.

It's a beautiful thing and change is 100% possible.

We are all a work in progress and that makes life interesting! Join me to learn more about how you can find more energy at work on this free training call I'm hosting.

Big love,
Lara xx

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, a life coach and specialist in wellbeing at work. I support professionals to discover and live with conscious ambition through private coaching, group workshops and gorgeous retreats. 

I'd love to keep in touch - let's connect on my Facebook and Instagram pages.

The million dollar question - what can you really do?

One of my favourite things to ask people is, "If you had a million dollars, what would you do differently?". What would you do this week or this month?

What would you say "yes" to with wild enthusiasm?

What work would you do?

Where would you holiday?

Who would you spend more time with or less?

What hobby or business would you pursue?

In short, how would your life change?

Now... with whatever comes to mind, answer me this.

If I said you could have a million dollars if you could make it happen in a week, come hell or high water... how creative would you get?

Would it be a straight up, "Well, that's not possible".

OR could you let yourself start dreaming and scheming about what you could do if you were really determined to. 

I can't tell you how many parents don't pursue exciting things because they stop at "I'll need child care" or people who dream of starting a business stop at "I would need too much money".

There are so so so many solutions to find when we look for them. What you need more than a million dollars is to practice courage and get creative (my favourite things).

Let's do this!!

xx Lara

P.S. Is it time for you to get a bit creative to join our Set Me Free Melbourne Retreat? It's on from June 16th-18th and will be the best mix of fun, rejuvenating and inspiring. If it's calling you, get creative and then answer back! 

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, a life coach and specialist in wellbeing at work. I support professionals to discover and live with conscious ambition through private coaching, group workshops and gorgeous retreats. 

I'd love to keep in touch - let's connect on my Facebook and Instagram pages.

The real 'enemy' we all need to fight immediately.

The other morning I saw these words scraped into concrete "F*ck you Tony Abbott".

Tony Abbott is a former Prime Minister of Australia and one who was the face of political decision making that people either loved or really loathed. You can guess what this particular artist thought.

What stuck out for me was the relative pointlessness of targeting one person. 

All that time and energy and anger, for what?

After all, Tony Abbott is no longer in power, but the political party he is affiliated to continues to make policies people love or loathe.

In the States, Donald Trump may eventually be impeached but there is a Vice President and a whole lot of people waiting in the wings to continue his work with his philosophy of domination and wealthy white male privilege. 

Going after one leader will have very limited success. Another person will simply rise up to fill the space. 

Communities make leaders happen, by encouraging them and supporting them financially, emotionally and in every day conversations online and in person.

It is individual people who act in communion with others to vote in political parties, and campaign for change in whatever direction they desire. 

What can we do to improve our communities and countries? 

It is extremely unlikely that views will change or minds will open when people are shamed and attacked for what they currently think or have been raised to think. 

People are generally not all good or all bad. 

Some people may be great environmentalists but hate everyone who hasn't woken up to the need to protect and sustain our precious resources.

Some people may be wonderful to their own families but treat homeless people or refugees with pure distain. 

 

What I am sure of is this.

Fear is the root cause of any division and hatred:

Fear that we will not have enough to survive and thrive. 

Fear that we will be hurt or what we love will be diminished or destroyed.

Fear that we will lose some of our power or privilege.

We all share these fears. 

If we assume that given the chance and the right circumstances the majority of people will act with kindness and compassion, then how to we proceed?

Any chance we get, push back against anything you would not delight at being done to you. Push back with the knowledge of what lies behind the problem - fear - and compassion that we all share these fears.

 

The enemy is inequity and every one of us is the problem or the solution.

Every day.

All day.

Here is the call - Do what you can, when you can, whenever you can. 

It might sound tiring, but it actually energising, hopeful and when done from a place of understanding fear, a peaceful inquiry that has a great chance of making an impact. 

It's the spirit of Conscious Ambition. The inspiring way to live your life at work and beyond. If you want to live with more Conscious Ambition - loving your work, making your mark and improving the world - learn more here. 

With love and hope,
Lara xx

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, a life coach and specialist in wellbeing at work. I support professionals to discover and live with conscious ambition through private coaching, group workshops and gorgeous retreats. 

I'd love to keep in touch - let's connect on my Facebook and Instagram pages.

'Enemy' all around

Inequity.

Treating people as lesser or greater than.

Deciding some people deserve a great, safe, future while others can rot in the worst imaginable circumstances.

Put away the whip - find an approach to motivation that works

Do you beat yourself up to keep yourself in line, to achieve, to excel, to just keep going?

You might call it 'high standards' (*ahem*), but it has a nasty undertone. It looks like picking at yourself, saying and doing things that you would never do or say to someone else. 

I bet it's worked for you for a long time.

It's probably been at your side for some huge successes!

It works (to a point) but it will never get you where you want to go in one piece. 

Real motivation comes from a different place that we are rarely taught about.

Before we go there, let's talk about the downside of using a whip as motivation.

 

The destructive force of the whip method

Do you remember the last time you got a really nasty comment?

That feeling of stinging across your body as the insult sunk in?

How your whole mind turned to it, your body reacted to it.

You might have been left depressed, shamed, tired. 

Now ask yourself, how many times you have used insults to motivate yourself.

How many times have you used judgement and comparisons.

Made yourself feel that you are not good enough.

Driven yourself with fear.

The results?

The result of the whip method is being tired, flat, running on adrenaline.

Never feeling good enough or safe.

Comparing yourself to others.

Burnout.

Anxiety and depression.

Disconnection from your true self.

We fear dropping the whip, that we wont achieve anymore, that we will end up lazy, fat, unproductive and unsuccessful. It's all just mind noise. Not true, my friend.

A new approach to motivation. 

To understand this method, imagine three groups of students that are learning a difficult task.

One group has a teacher that yells at them. Some may learn, some may shut down, all will be stressed and to some extent, not operating from their whole brain (fear shuts off parts of our brains).

One group has a teacher who puts them down, points out their weaknesses. Some may overcome this and learn, some may shut down and give up, internalising their 'flaws'.

The last group of students has a teacher that is a compassionate, supportive witness. The teacher supports the students in their struggles. The children are emotionally safe to learn and grow. Evidence shows that children (and adults) need emotional safety to thrive and learn.

Is your mind emotionally safe for you to grow and learn?

Any life task that we find difficult, represents a challenge that we need to approach with lovingkindness.

The result of approaching challenges with internal support and compassion is infinitely more energy, a deeper connection to self and a more positive outlook on your life and better self-worth. 

Um, who doesn't want that?

I have a little gift for you to help make that happen. I'm going to do some free training on Monday 17th April at 8pm AEST.  The training is on the eight (plus) different types of motivation you can use to add to this loving approach I'm advocating for. SO handy to know which ones work for you and start integrating them! 

Click here and sign up for it - you can come along or listen to the recording. 

What I want for you is to know yourself deeply and to bring your conscious ambitions to life!

You can do this!

Huge love,
Lara xx

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, a life coach and specialist in wellbeing at work. I support professionals to discover and live with conscious ambition through private coaching, group workshops and gorgeous retreats. 

I'd love to keep in touch - let's connect on my Facebook and Instagram pages.