Stop letting work define your worth.

How we feel about our work is one of those things that can really impact how we feel about ourselves.  

Yes, our work lives are really important BUT we tend to confuse our self-worth with the success of our careers or even our success day-to-day.

No matter where you are on the spectrum of loving to despising your work, you need to know how to protect yourself from this trap of work = my worth.

Here are five pitfalls to avoid and one to hold close for more contentment and self-security. 

Feedback from others

Have you travelled this path? Good feedback = I'm good; difficult, even harsh feedback = I'm crap.

You already know what I'm going to say!

Your self-worth does not come from what your supervisor says. Do not give them that power. 

Take feedback for what it is - a chance to refine things and learn. Even if that learning is how to deal with someone toxic (sadly, a handy life lesson!). 

 

Part-time, casual or full-time work

People work different time fractions for a variety of reasons, including available work contracts, parenting commitments, health concerns or having a side passion or business. 

Sometimes it can feel like you are seen as less important as a part-time or casual employee. I understand!

It doesn't mean that YOU need to apologise or be small in your working life.

It doesn't mean that you have no rights and shouldn't have a fulfilling work life.

Don't mistake more hours for more worthy. 

 

Unconscious bias and discrimination

One of the biggest reasons not to judge your work as your worth is that bias and discrimination in workplaces.

Whether it's due to gender, sexual orientation, race or ethnicity or some other reason, workplaces are not a level playing field.

If you are anything but a white middle class, able bodied, hetero male - I'm going to put it out there and say you will have been discriminated against, either consciously or unconsciously.

It sucks and is terribly unfair BUT is not a reason to stop being awesome or to hang up your boots.

It is a reason to actively work on separating your self worth from your work experiences (easier said than done on this one, but worth working at and being conscious of). 

It's also a reason to gather support around you and tear the walls down together, bit by bit!

Your own judgements

What rules do you have in your mind about work and worth?

How do you judge others and yourself about work?

Does income = worth to you?

Does working with your hands versus knowledge work have different responses in your mind?

Notice your judgements of yourself and others. Are they really true? Are you trying to keep your ego safe by putting others down? Are you feeling bad because you lose in your comparisons?

Are these judgements improving your life? I'm going to take a wild guess and say, probably not!

When you can work through and let go of your own judgements, you wont attach to how others judge you nearly as much. 

Remember: Humanity and dignity

You are precious and special and deserving no matter what, just for being alive.

You are entirely ordinary and extraordinarily complex.

We are all messy and imperfect and wonderful in our own way.

What you do for a living or for fun is just one aspect of a complex and wonderful you. Don't let it be what defines you.

Define yourself.

Know yourself more deeply and trust that we are all equally human and divine. 

Big love,

Lara xx

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, a life coach and specialist in wellbeing at work. I support professionals to discover and live with conscious ambition through private coaching, group workshops and gorgeous retreats. 

I'd love to keep in touch - let's connect on my Facebook and Instagram pages.

Words to bring you back to yourself (a love note to you)

It feels like a tender week out there or at the very least a full week. I heard this piece yesterday and wanted to share it with you all.

So much wisdom in a few paragraphs!

Drink it in and let it bring you back to yourself and soothe your weary soul. 

“Hokusai says
Hokusai says look carefully.
He says pay attention, notice.
He says keep looking, stay curious.
He says there is no end to seeing

He says look forward to getting old.
He says keep changing,
you just get more who you really are.
He says get stuck, accept it, repeat
yourself as long as it is interesting.

He says keep doing what you love.

He says keep praying.

He says every one of us is a child,
every one of us is ancient
every one of us has a body.
He says every one of us is frightened.
He says every one of us has to find
a way to live with fear.

He says everything is alive —
shells, buildings, people, fish,
mountains, trees, wood is alive.
Water is alive.

Everything has its own life.

Everything lives inside us.

He says live with the world inside you.

He says it doesn’t matter ifyou draw,
or write books. It doesn’t matter
ifyou saw wood, or catch fish.
It doesn’t matter if you sit at home
and stare at the ants on your veranda
or the shadows of the trees
and grasses in your garden.
It matters that you care.

It matters that you feel.

It matters that you notice.

It matters that life lives through you.

Contentment is life living through you.
Joy is life living through you.
Satisfaction and strength
is life living through you.

He says don’t be afraid.
Don’t be afraid.

Love, feel, let life take you by the hand.

Let life live through you.
”

— Roger Keyes

You just read a poem that is essentially about mindfulness, being present and about self-compassion. It's soothing because we know deep down it's true.

I recently spoke to The Canberra Times about how the evidence for mindfulness and meditation and improved mental wellbeing is so strong you'd be crazy not to do it.

So is today your day to give it a go?

Start with noticing your breath.

That is enough.

Keep returning to yourself and getting that refreshment. It will make life SO much better!

Oh you know what else will make life better? Coming away with a splendid group of women for a gorgeous two night Set Me Free Weekend Retreat in Melbourne. Oh it's going to be so goood! 

With love and light,

Lara xx

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, life coach and researcher in work and wellbeing. I coach successful 30 and 40 somethings who want more fulfilling or bigger careers but doubt themselves and their options. I help them get out of their own way, find direction and go for what they really want.

Connect with me via Facebook and Instagram.

The opinion you need when you're taking a risk.

Yesterday I had two unexpected emails from journalists wanting to interview me about mental wellbeing (happiness) and work and wellbeing (a four day work week).

This, of course, is lovely and welcome.

It also gives me a massive adrenaline rush and butterflies straight away, no matter how long it is until the interview. 

You see, I love public speaking and coaching but there is something about an interview, the way you can be misquoted and caught on the hop, that makes me nervous.

The thought of saying the 'wrong thing' can really get to me if I'm not careful.

I consciously and regularly choose my thoughts, breathe and prepare, so that I can manage the anticipation and do it well (enough). Otherwise, instead of enjoying myself and sharing useful research I would be a puddle of adrenaline and then need to sleep straight after it!

Often when we are nervous about something, we reach out to family, friends and colleagues for support, which is great... but... we have to be careful about it.

For example, in this situation, the last person I should talk is someone who amplifies my fears or worse still, amplifies them having never been in the same situation.

You can see how this relates to your life, right?

Before you do something challenging, even a little risky, whose opinion are you getting?

A Debbie Downer or Negative Ned (yes, I made a male version) who always tells you the worst case scenario and what could go wrong? As if you can't do that on your own!

Or someone who never takes any risks or does anything out of the ordinary!?!

Marie Forleo recently said that she sees people routinely go and ask the advice of people they know will disagree with what they are planning or doing. It's a fast way to self-sabotage.

So here's my question to you.

Are you talking to the right people about your plans or what you are doing in the world? People who will encourage you, people with experience in the area? 

Becoming more discerning about who you take advice from, brainstorm with or share plans with is something you can change today that can have dramatic and wonderful repercussions in your life.

If you'd like a supportive and skilled sounding board for your emerging plans, I'm your gal. So much of creating your ideal working life centres on confidence and clarity and I can help you with both. Read more here. 

To your success!

Lara x

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, life coach and researcher in work and wellbeing. I coach successful 30 and 40 somethings who want more fulfilling or bigger careers but doubt themselves and their options. I help them get out of their own way, find direction and go for what they really want.

Connect with me via Facebook and Instagram.

What to do when life seems unclear: Five things you can do right now.

Experiencing periods of uncertainty in life are completely normal and unavoidable.

No matter how much clarity and purpose you usually have, there will be times when you feel like your next step is unclear.

It can be so frustrating and disheartening. 

I'm not going to lie, when parts of my life feel unclear it really nags at me.

My brain seems to be constantly trying to work out how the puzzle so that I can feel clear and sure again.

Are you the same?

I have done serious time in these phases (and will, no doubt, be in them again). Thankfully, I've had some extra breakthroughs and clarity recently to help you when you're in a foggy funk.

Here are five ways to deal gracefully and proactively with uncertainty so that even when you feel like you're standing still you keep progressing.

1. Make space

Ah space, there's a reason that we all want high ceilings, wide open spaces and clean houses (or is that just me?!). 

In the absence of high ceilings and an immaculate home overlooking a national park, you can make space in other ways. 

Easy peasy.

Declutter, do your filing, clean out your wardrobe. Clean your desktop icons. 

Drop commitments you hate, that drain you or that you just grew out of somewhere along the way.

Find and make time just for you to be peaceful and quiet.

I guarantee that making space in your life, physically, energetically or emotionally, will bring you peace, clarity and at the very least, satisfaction!

2. Change what you need to 

If you've had a whispering inside you that something needs to change, whether big or small, when you're feeling unclear is a perfect time to make that change.

From what I've seen and experienced, it can be precisely those changes we have been ignoring that block us from clarity.

It's almost like the universe has a rule that says you don't get dessert (clarity) without eating your unappealing dinner!

3. Tweak your perspective

If you're telling yourself that not having clarity about your next steps sucks and will never change, now is the time to think about that thought.

It's causing you suffering.

It's not true. Is it? Really?

Do you feel that it's true in your body, deep down?

Thought so. 

So rewrite that idea and come up with one that is more truthful and less painful.

"I'm being asked to wait until the time is right".

4. Don't mistake ignoring something you don't like for a lack of clarity

Ah guilty. Sometimes feeling unclear is actually just us refusing to see what needs to change or what we are called to do right now.

Life feeling unclear is not about lack of clarity at all, it's about not liking what life is telling you!

5. Trust and wait

Eventually, things will become clear. Have faith, this too shall pass.

You can work through these steps alone or talk to a friend but if you'd like to supercharge things with professional support, I'm here to help you find the clarity and purpose you crave.  Make a free 60 minute appointment now (select a time below)! 

Big love and courage to you!

xx Lara 

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, life coach and researcher in work and wellbeing. I coach successful 30 and 40 somethings who want more fulfilling or bigger careers but doubt themselves and their options. I help them get out of their own way, find direction and go for what they really want.

Connect with me via Facebook and Instagram.

A hilarious (and useful) confidence boost at work.

Well my loves, this is a FUN one.

The other day I was having lunch with a fabulous woman indeed. She was talking about how she wanted to write her friend's CV for her.

You see, her friend couldn't see how great she was, how her experience could be applied to so many different fields. How much CONFIDENCE she should have in herself and her abilities.

Could you be that friend? Do you have one of those friends? 

Even if you're not short on confidence, I bet you don't sell yourself as well as you could.

I've got one hilarious (and incredibly useful) activity for you.

Do a boastful CV. I'm talking a shameless, over the top brag-fest. 

I want you to write it like your biggest fan in the whole world would write it.

Like someone who thinks everything you touch turns to gold.

Write it solo or with a friend.

Take your humble pants off and put your boastful pants on!

It might be hard to start with, but once you get going, you'll be laughing, feeling good and realising that you have a lot more to offer than you realised (even if you had a lot to start with!).

The more you can really see yourself and what you can offer, the more possibilities will open up for you and the more you can do your thang in the world.

Go for it, you've got nothing to lose and everything to gain!

Now, if this feels all too uncomfortable, you may need a  helping hand in the confidence department. 

Confidence is made up of a few things, including bravery and thinking that isn't so clouded with fear. I can help you with both! Email me at lara@setmefree.coach to chat about it. Now that is bravery I know you can find.

Just think what a more confident and brave you could do!

xx Lara

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, life coach and researcher in work and wellbeing. I coach successful 30 and 40 somethings who want more fulfilling or bigger careers but doubt themselves and their options. I help them get out of their own way, find direction and go for what they really want.

Connect with me via Facebook and Instagram.

Must do emotional prep before your next career move.

Like it or not, there's some emotional prep work to do before we move from one role or career to another. You don't want to turn up in the next space a twisted bag of bitterness or a sobbing mess, missing your old work (even if you were ready to leave)!

Often, there's a little baggage to let go of and some treasures to take forward.

If you're thinking about a new career move or have just made one, make sure you do these two things to supporting your wellbeing and to go into your next role firing on all cylinders!

Step 1. Write down all the things you hate(d) about your work

Have you written them down? Get them ALL OUT. Better out than in. That stuff is toxic.

Now notice what is the reality of the situation. Maybe Jerry is always a jerk, HR policies are unfair and Michelle is, well, whatever.

Notice how other's behaviour is outside your control. That you can only control your responses.

Notice how you can advocate for change but that it may or may not happen.

Let yourself feel sad, angry, whatever comes up for you.

Have a cup of tea, be kind to yourself.

Feel those feelings or they will stay with you.

Take any lessons you can from the difficult parts of your role. Really think about what you've learnt about yourself, about others and about systems/organisations/processes. This is invaluable learning.

Now as for the stuff you hate. Detach. 

Choose to let it go.

It doesn't deserve to take up space in your head.

It is draining you.

You might like to burn the paper list or do something symbolic for you.

Step 2. Write down all the things you like(d) about your work

That's right, write them all down: The people you loved, the places, the things that really worked for you. The parts of work that made you feel alive or valued, satisfied or like you were really making a difference. 

What have you learnt? What challenges did you overcome?

With your list, feel it through your body, all those good times.

Laugh. Shed a tear. Give yourself a hug. Trust that you'll find as much, if not much more beauty, fascination, energy, contribution, focus and satisfaction in the future.

They are not finite resources.

Now take a moment to be grateful for the good, however large or small it may be.

BONUS STEP FOR THE THOROUGH OR COMMITTED

For those committed to really making the most of these steps, a bonus step is to compile a list of what you liked best and hated about your work in the most in general of terms. It will make a checklist of sorts that you can use to compare to future roles, careers and business prospects.

That's smart thinking!

Do the emotional prep and be your own best advocate for a wonderful experience next time.

You deserve it!

If you'd like to go into your next position firing on all cylinders, I'm here to help you do just that. Grab a free 60 minute session with me today!

To your success!

xx Lara

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, life coach and researcher in work and wellbeing. I coach successful 30 and 40 somethings who want more fulfilling or bigger careers but doubt themselves and their options. I help them get out of their own way, find direction and go for what they really want.

Connect with me via Facebook and Instagram.

Make your work day more fun and meaningful (while you find something better).

If you're reading this post I'm going to take a few wild guesses. 

Your day needs some fun.

Your day needs some meaning.

You're also a bit over your job or it needs a bit of a revival. 

So let's get to it with some tweaking and some good old fashioned do good'n to help turn things around asap.

Today's post is the second in a series of tips for people who are in careers, roles, or businesses that have past their 'best before date' but who are staying (for now). Last week's post was on the three things you need to get from your job before you leave.

Now back to today's topic! First things first...

TWEAK YOUR DAY

Let's be clear. A good day doesn't just make itself. If your work day is crapola, you need to get tweaking.

Here are some tried and true ways to improve your work day. 

* Organise your day according to your energy ebbs and flows (e.g. best thinking time in the morning, meetings for afternoons).

* Add in fun, wherever possible. Lunches with friends, looking at trees, drawing, cat videos, anything that floats your boat.

* Add in some kind of movement - dancing, walking, running, cycling, yoga, stretching, martial arts - whatever!

* Check your thinking - is it making you feel the way you want to? Does it help to think 'this job sucks, this is so boring' or does it feel better to say '...this job gives me the money I need while I work out what I really want to do with my life".  Thoughts matter, people!!

If these appeal to you, test them out! Try to bring in one new thing a month. Yep, slow integration is likely to work better and be more sustainable than trying to change everything in a day. 

It's called tweaking for a reason ;)

BECOME AN ADVOCATE

Now to the do-gooding: the win-win work of making your world a little brighter, fairer and more fulfilling.

You may have noticed that the world is being shaken up right now and assumptions about progress are being seriously questioned.

So why not use the time left in your role to become an advocate for something good in your organisation?

I'm talking anything good.

Lord knows everyone needs a boost and to feel more empowered to do good in the world!

Sooo....

Raise money for a charity by doing something fun (if nothing else, afternoon teas and sausage sizzles (for Australians reading) are always popular!).

Raise awareness of the importance of workplaces being free from discrimination based on race, gender, sexual identity or orientation, or disability. Choose something you feel drawn to changing.

Drop it into conversation and planning when you can.

Put up a flyer on your notice board. 

People are heavily influenced by their peers, so any sexist or racist comment you shut down will make an impact.

Any efforts you make will make an impact. 

By advocating for what you are drawn to you will find so much more fulfilment and meaning in your day.

You will live the phrase 'be the change you want to see in the world'

Following these two themes - tweaking and do gooding to help you go from surviving to thriving in your current role... til you move on.

There is so much more to say about making the most of your current role before you move on!

Stay tuned next week for Part Three in the Career Transition Series!

Be sure to share this post with your friends in the same boat and sign up to my newsletter and training below to get the whole series in your inbox.

If you are limping along in a job you are sick of, these changes should give you a boost! But you may also like a little more help, which just happens to be my thing!  If you'd like to start exploring just how good your work life could be, learn more and sign up!

Here's to loving your work!

x Lara

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, life coach and researcher in work and wellbeing. I coach successful 30 and 40 somethings who want more fulfilling or bigger careers but doubt themselves and their options. I help them get out of their own way, find direction and go for what they really want.

Connect with me via Facebook and Instagram.

Want to leave your job? Three things to get from it before you move on.

Let me guess, you're job is past its 'best before' date and is starting to become a drag BUT you either don't know exactly what to do next or you want to stay on a bit longer for some reason. 

Rather than just go through the motions, feeling like you are killing time, today's post is all about how to get the most out of your current job before you make your next career move... up, across, down or jumping somewhere else entirely!

In fact, this week's blog is the first in a series designed to help you maximise value from your current position and support your transition to where you really want to be. 

So let's jump into it!

UP-SKILL, BABY!

First things first, it's time to scout out any extra training or professional development you can do before you move on. 

Heard a leadership course is being offered? Take it up! Crisis training - yes please. Whatever training that is floating around that is relevant to where you would like to go is the training you want to justify doing.

While you're training, you'll be bringing that value to your current role. For bonus points, make a handout or run your own debrief on the training to up-skill your colleagues (and add it to your CV).

EXPERIMENT

It's time to try things out that you've wondered about changing up - big or small. 

Wondered if that procedure would be more efficient if you did x and y? Give it a crack!

Wondered if you could get comfortable giving professional feedback? Get some practice in.

Wondered if you could develop a better relationship with your CEO? Now is the time.

Wondered if colleagues would benefit from a running group on Friday lunchtimes? Sort it!

By devising and testing out these mini-experiments, you'll be more motivated, energised and work will be more fulfilling before you move along to your next adventure.

 

TICK OFF IMPORTANT PROJECTS

Before you head to brighter shores, think about what projects or pieces of work you would like to finish off.

These projects might be important to you for a variety of reasons or might just look good on the CV and boost your confidence in applying for new roles.

Hop to it! You'll feel great knowing that you got that piece of work done or that it's going to be bright and shiny in a future interview.

Today's tips will help boost your fulfilment, confidence and interest in your work. Let me know what you implement and how it goes!

There is so much more to say about making the most of your current role before you move on!

Stay tuned next week for Part Two in the Career Transition Series: Sure fire ways to make your work day more fun and meaningful.

Be sure to share this post with your friends in the same boat and sign up to my newsletter and training below to get the whole series in your inbox.

If you are limping along in a job you are sick of, these changes should give you a boost! But you may also like a little more help, which just happens to be my thing!  If you'd like to start exploring just how good your work life could be, learn more and sign up!

Go for it!
Lara

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, life coach and researcher in work and wellbeing. I coach successful 30 and 40 somethings who want more fulfilling or bigger careers but doubt themselves and their options. I help them get out of their own way, find direction and go for what they really want.

Connect with me via Facebook and Instagram.

Five things every workspace needs (especially if you hate your job)

If there's one thing I know for sure, it's that physical work environments matter. They influence our mood and energy levels day in and day out, but often get overlooked. You can't necessarily control the whole workspace we are in, but you can control your corner of the world.

If you'd like to feel happier, more focused and energised at work, here are five things you need in your workspace now!

1. Something living and green.

Yep, you need a plant, my friend.  Any plant that makes you feel good. It can be tiny or huge - whatever. Just get something that will grow, purify the air a smidgen and be aesthetically pleasing. My hot tips are a terrarium (they are low fuss and fun) or a peace lily (endlessly forgiving and green).

I could throw a whole heap of research at you about this, but just trust me when I say, humans need green and it is good for you.

2. Something that makes you smile.

Add something to your workspace that makes you happier whenever you look at it. It might be a funny cartoon, a photo of a loved one or a poem that makes you smile.

3. Something aesthetically pleasing.

Add something to your workspace, whether a postcard size or a full wall, that pleases you when you look at it. Everyone's idea of good aesthetics is different. For you it might be street art or fine art, it might be a photo of cyclists riding the Tour de France or a beach scape. It could even be a beautiful mug and tea canister or stationery.

Choose something that lights you up when you stare at it. I'm personally on the hunt for something beautiful to go on an empty wall above my computer.

4. Something motivating.

Your inspiration may be subtle (a photo that triggers a thought) or overt - giant posters saying 'You can do it!".

Your motivation may be a particular goal or something to keep you going. I keep a photo of my husband's grandmother near me. She inspires me as a strong female business owner. She owned and ran a pub by herself and I loved her determination, strength and sense of humour. 

I also keep a photo of the castle in which we had our wedding reception in, to remind me that life is surprising and wonderful. 

5. Clear space

There's no use having all these great things going for your workspace if they are half buried under who knows what. As you make over your workspace, make sure you clear the decks as much as possible. You'll be amazed at how much it clears your mind. 

**Bonus points for headphones and a playlist of uplifting or relaxing songs for when you need them!**

If you are limping along in a job you are sick of, these changes should give you a boost! But you may also like a little more help, which happens to be my thing!  If you'd like to start exploring just how good your work life could be, learn more and sign up!

With love,
Lara

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, life coach and researcher in work and wellbeing. I coach successful 30 and 40 somethings who want more fulfilling or bigger careers but doubt themselves and their options. I help them get out of their own way, find direction and go for what they really want.

Connect with me via Facebook and Instagram.

"Oh, I'd never do that just for me": Screw that, you're worth it.

Have you ever heard yourself say this...?

"Oh, I'd never do that just for me". 

Wow, this scenario came up time and time again talking with people over the holidays.

It made me want to ask you: Do you treat others better than you treat yourself? 

And more specifically...

What do you do for others that you don't do for yourself? 

This scenario shines a light on what you think you are worth spending time, money, love and energy on. 

It's time to live like you are really worth it, but first you have to see where you are shortchanging yourself.

Does this sound like you? 

• Exercising if a friend is going but cancelling your workout if on your own.
• Cleaning the house of dust for a friend with an allergy but not for your own asthma condition.
• Picking up other people from the airport but catching the bus (in winter) yourself.
• Cooking beautiful meals for others but deciding it 'isn't worth it' to cook a delicious meal just for you.
• Turning up on time for paid work for your employer but not using your allocated time to work on your own dream business.
• Spending money on your children's clothes and outings but rarely on yourself.
• Believing in others and supporting them to go for their dreams, but not yourself.

Where do you shortchange yourself?

Take a minute to think. Where are you unwilling to spend on yourself? Is it in the form of time, joy, money, effort or in self-belief?

What are you missing out on?

How is it making you feel?

What would your life be like if you loved yourself the way you love others?

I invite you to commit to switching up just one small thing. Pick the place you are shortchanging yourself and make a plan, set a date (put it in the diary) and do it for yourself. 

Now, or you'll forget!

Notice how it feels. Uncomfortable? Liberating? Wonderful? Stressful?

Sit with those feelings. 

Rinse, repeat.

I'd love to hear what your 'thing' is and your new plan!

By the way, if you're selling yourself short by doing a job you're not wild about I've got some great news. Helping people find fulfilling and exciting careers is my not-so-secret superpower. If you'd like to start exploring just how good your work life could be, go for it!

With love,
Lara

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, life coach and researcher in work and wellbeing. I coach successful 30 and 40 somethings who want more fulfilling or bigger careers but doubt themselves and their options. I help them get out of their own way, find direction and go for what they really want.

Connect with me via Facebook and Instagram.