THE FREEDOM FILES

A blog by Dr Lara Corr

Lara Corr 5/31/16 Lara Corr 5/31/16

Joy signpost #2: What can't you shut up about?!

So many people say that they don't know what they're passionate about or what they could do to make their lives better BUT the clues are right under our noses. Remember the last time you just couldn't shut up with the energy of discussing something? It's a clue people... read on...

Hi everyone,

I'm writing this post from my hotel room in Amsterdam (happy dance) and today I want to talk about another way to identify your passions, joys – to what will make life that much sweeter, shinier and sparklier = awesome.

During the conference, I've met so many new people and gotten to know others better.

The striking thing for me has been watching people come to life during conversations when they hit on their passions.

I love that point where someone's whole body language changes, their eyes sparkle, a grin flashes across their faces and their energy soars.

Everyone around them lifts.

Although the conference delegates were there to talk about wellbeing at work, the conversations drifted towards other things fairly quickly. To what they REALLY loved talking about. To what you couldn't shut them up about (and I had no desire to!).

Some of the hot topics were: travel, adventure, language, love, renovation shows, motorbike riding and super bike training, and all things woo woo.

Yes, this is all happening at an academic conference!

The moral of the story is: People cannot help but talk about things they love sooner or later.

So, what can't you shut up about?

Take a minute to go through your mind and find the last thing you really buzzed about and felt that energy to keep talking. Not in an anxious way, but in a radiant, warm glow kind of way.

Follow the trail of breadcrumbs to joy!

What were you discussing? You might have held the floor while you waxed lyrical. You might have kept bringing the conversation back to the subject or felt deflated or annoyed that you didn't get to keep talking if you got cut off ;)

Like noticing what you love to check out online, noticing what you can't shut up about is a joy signpost, people!

It's another way to identify what you get really excited about, what you could move towards to make life sweeter, more fulfilling and joyful. Woo!

You have this great signpost, so what are you going to do about it?

Are you making a plan to bring more of that joy into your life, or has your brain already kicked in with all the reasons you can't or shouldn't?

If this is the case, ask yourself why...

Is your passion not valued in society or perhaps considered frivolous or [insert derogatory word]?

Does it seem too hard to bring it into your life?

Is it a shame tape playing? 'Who do you think you are?' or 'You're not good enough'?

Are you rejecting your passions because they don't fit with who you think you should be?

Or is it simply that you can't be bothered, that you don't value or prioritise your own joy and happiness? (More thoughts to explore)

To bring your passions out into the open and to let joy run wild in your life, there are ultimately four steps (in no particular order).

Accept yourself
Prioritise happiness
Problem-solve
Calm fear

It's as simple and as complicated as that, but trust me, you've got this!

What's holding you back from living a life you glow about?

Talk about it with a friend or a coach (oh what? I'm a coach! No way, so handy*).

Have a good one!

Lara xx

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, life coach and researcher in work and wellbeing. I coach successful 30 and 40 somethings who want more fulfilling or bigger careers but doubt themselves and their options. I help them get out of their own way, find direction and go for what they really want.

Connect with me via Facebook and Instagram.

Lara Corr 5/25/16 Lara Corr 5/25/16

Everything is great except... what behaviour(s) are you holding onto and why?

argh, we all have SOMETHING that we wish we didn't do or would like to do differently. We've tried to and want to change but nothing has worked. What's your thing and why are you really doing it? Read on.

Most of us have something in our lives which we are not 100% happy with that has been hanging around for quite a while.

We say we don't like it, we complain about it and yet it seems to be mighty comfortable in our lives!

Does any of this ring a bell?

Everything is fine except...

that I spend more money than I have every month

that I don't like my job and haven't for months or years

that I don't see my friends much

that I don't get around to exercising

that I still have this weight I want to lose

that I lose so much time to being online

and so on...

The conversation that has been taking place internally or between you and your compadres may have been going on a long time.

So pray tell, why is it still happening?

The answer: It's working for you.

You don't have to like it for it to be doing a job for you.

So it's time to ask, what's it's purpose. Get honest.

Does that behaviour...

Get you out of trying and potentially failing?

Protect your image and identity?

Stop you from grieving what you need to?

Stop you from facing what you don't like in your life?

Keep you playing smaller than you would?

Protect you from the negative judgement of others?

Make you feel safe (a big one with women and unwanted weight)?

Protect you from reliving past heartbreak? e.g. commitment phobe after a big heart break

The bottom line is that these self-sabotage behaviours are often, but not always, about avoiding vulnerability. They are really self-protection behaviours that aren't so helpful.

The challenge is to dig deep and work out why you're really hanging onto that unwanted behaviour and then what you might do about it.

Talk with a trusted friend, coach or counsellor and get some clarity around the behaviour, then, if you wish, find a new way of protecting yourself, one that lets you grow and thrive.

With love,
Lara xx