How understanding fear can help you save the world (I'm serious).

We are in a truly critical time in history and believe it or not, you have power over which direction it goes. But it's also a scary time, so there are no surprises that fear that can stop you from making your mark. Are you really going to bow down, when fear is something you can learn to overcome? Of course not, you're braver and wiser than that!

Think for a minute about how fear shapes our lives from the smallest decision to the biggest leap. 

Any number of things can wave that flag of 'danger' to us and lead to fear, whether it be a funny look from a colleague (Have I done something wrong?) or an empty pantry (I must eat, now!). 

Fear thoughts run through our heads all day, but you can learn to recognise fear's 'greatest hits', get its useful messages and calm that scared part of us to make sure that you get done what you most want and need to.

That list of deep wants and needs will be exciting and scary.

That list of deep wants and needs is essential to living life to the fullest and making the world a better place. 

The important thing to note is that fear does not travel alone.

It is the leader of a tribe that hurts us all. The tribe includes anger, shame, hopelessness and despair.

Their work, unchecked, makes us feel paralysed, tired, unmotivated and makes us want to escape or to pick a fight. 

Learning how to work with fear is not only the key to your happiness, but to better outcomes for your community and the world. 

A few questions, to help you see how fear is influencing us right now...

When we are too overwhelmed to listen to our own fears, how do we listen to others?

When we are too scared to see ourselves, how do we see others?

When all we see is 'not enough' (fear thoughts!!), how will we provide for everyone?

When we don't meet our own needs, it's harder to meet the needs of the community.

If we are too intimidated to talk to someone we want to, how will we talk to someone we really need to connect with to help make the world better? 

now let's go really big.

Let's look at the biggest challenges in society now. Deep breathe and stay with me, because the alternatives ROCK!!

Climate change

I did some climate change research in the mid-2000s and was in contact with some of the best climate scientists in Australia. They talked over and over about people looking like 'deer in headlights'.

Basically, fear is f*cking up our chances of addressing climate change.

I'm only just able to accept this now, after coming out of a fear phase myself that left me apathetic and hopeless.

* People are afraid, so they ignore the science and don't act.

* Politicians are afraid to see the science, or afraid of the voters not supporting them, so they don't act.

* Climate activists are consumed by fear and anger and burn out.

Oy. Time to work on managing fear, no?

Race, gender, sexuality, age, dis(ability) relations

Let's be clear, the first step to working through the complexity of these relations is to recognise privilege - this is where fear stops us before we get started.

When we are too afraid to see our privilege, that is, the power we have over others due to money, race, gender, sexuality, age, physical ability, we aren't able to understand how the world really works and where the solutions lie.

It also means you're probably not connected to the people that hold the solutions – those being oppressed through experiences of racism, homophobia and other types of discrimination, at individual and structural levels. 

When we are afraid to let go of power or privilege then inequalities remain strong or grow. Fear runs high, people can feel isolated, powerless and hopeless. That does not lead to good. You only have to think of ISIS to see how this unfolds, but suicide and incarceration are also painful examples. 

When we are stuck in fear, we don't really see people or problems from the root cause, we just look at the surface. To use a medical example, it's like providing endless medication for a preventable disease. You end up with people still getting sick as well as antibiotic resistance!

Fear can make us blind, ignorant and to contribute to the problems of the world.

Fear can lead us to numbing and ignoring, to putting off plans, to staying at home, to giving up. To not taking time to understand how we can make things better, even a little better. 

fear is the master saboteur.

the great news is, YOU can work well with fear to save yourself and help heal the world.

It all starts with eavesdropping on your thinking, on noticing fear thoughts and soothing yourself. Hot tip: yelling at or ignoring fear do not work!

Get Four Ways to (nicely) Crush Crappy Thoughts

Crush crappy thoughts

Then learning that fear will always be around, but that's okay. Carrying on anyway. 

My work revolves around helping people to recognise and work well with fear, so that they can 'get out of their own way' and create their ideal lives. But more than that, my ultimate purpose is to help people positively impact the world, no matter their sphere of influence. 

I've got two events coming up soon that will teach you the basics in how to work well with fear!!

Check out my Melbourne short-course with Chafia Brooks – Revive: Mind and Body – (Three Sundays from 1-3pm, you can so make time to change your life!) and my power workshop in Canberra 'Unblocked' on the 15th October, also 1-3pm.

No excuses (we know that's just fear talking). Sign up today and bring a friend!

With love,

Lara xxx

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, life coach and researcher in work and wellbeing. I coach successful 30 and 40 somethings who want more fulfilling or bigger careers but doubt themselves and their options. I help them get out of their own way, find direction and go for what they really want.

Connect with me via Facebook and Instagram.

Five ways to survive political uncertainty without losing your mind.

There is a LOT of change and uncertainty at the moment. Elections in Australia and the USA and Brexit rocking the world. We are reminded at every turn that change is afoot and it can be very unsettling, even downright terrifying.

At best, all the thinking, analysis, reading and talking about these events leads us to be well informed and active citizens. At worst, it becomes just another horrifying spectacle, leaving people stressed and distressed, with nothing to show for it except sleepless nights.

With this in mind, here are five steps to getting your head and body in the right space to be sane and useful.

1. Stick to the facts e.g. Britain has voted to leave the EU. Nothing else has happened yet and at this point, it's the stories you are reading and telling yourself that are distressing you. Remember, you don't know how this will play out. It may be better, it may be worse, but you'll be too exhausted to act if you wear yourself out early. 
2. Check in with your body when you are taking in media and social media. If you are feeling contracted, stressed and heavy, feeling flat etc. you need a break. Our bodies haven't evolved to differentiate between imagined fear and real fear, so you need to look after yourself in terms of what you read, watch etc.
3. Notice what the changes or proposed political changes make you angry or hopeful about. Get really clear. What do you fear most? Social division, growing inequities, suffering? What do you hope for? Fairness, generosity, inclusion, safety?
4. Decide how can you act in your own life, community and country to promote the values and outcomes that you hope for and fight to reduce the opportunity for the changes you fear? Take one small, imperfect step. Then another and another. 
5. Practice inclusion, generosity, and cultivate a mindset of abundance (i.e. there is enough for everyone), rather than giving in to fear, greed, stinginess and scarcity. These positive practices are soothing to our systems and create constructive positive outcomes for communities. 

There's never been a better time to be an informed, active citizen.

Your role is important. Your action is important.

It is never too late to improve the world. 

The best antidote to stress and outrage is action, so go get em!

With love,
Lara xxx

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, life coach and researcher in work and wellbeing. I coach successful 30 and 40 somethings who want more fulfilling or bigger careers but doubt themselves and their options. I help them get out of their own way, find direction and go for what they really want.

Connect with me via Facebook and Instagram.

Lights on! What sets your heart on fire and why you're not doing it.

This week I caught up with an old colleague from academia. She does great research but was growing bored of her topic and starting to think about what was next.

While we were chatting she went a little off topic and spoke about having recently remembered her passion for social justice through the great examples of Martin Luther King Jr and Malcolm X. 

I got chills.

I pointed out what she just said (the conversation had since moved swiftly along) and you could see a light go on in her whole body. Like it was flooded with electricity.

Her subconscious had just thrown out an amazing clue of where she wanted to go.

Once that spark ignited, her mind was racing and a whole new range of possibilities were fighting for air time in her brain.

It was exciting, to say the least (I have chills again remembering it)!

She is a natural change-maker, drawn to helping professions, yet it seemed she had started reaching for smaller changes than the ones she really wanted to go for. Not to detract from the wonderful things she has achieved - she's awesome - it's more about where she wants to go and what she wants to do.

Later in the conversation she admitted reluctantly that she'd always thought that she had something 'big' to do in the world. 

Have you also had that thought whisper through your mind? That you might be able to live with your heart on fire doing something 'big' in this world?

I bet you have. 

So what happened?

Well, I bet that your little 'helper', the one inside us all always scanning for danger, shuts it down toute suite.

As most of you reading are likely to have your basic needs well and truly met and hopefully are not in physical danger, this hyper-vigilant part of us focuses on potential social danger. 

Heaven knows, it doesn't want you to get on anyone's bad side by not doing exactly what you've been told growing up, or subtly by those around you now. How dare you have big plans or even worse, actually start making them happen! You might make someone feel bad or not be good enough!

That 'helper' panics when you get big ideas. It might be concerned that you're getting grandiose and too big for your boots. 

Rest assured, that deep knowing you have about being able to do something 'big' is not about being grandiose.

The ideas attached to a deep knowing tend to have a different quality about them that isn't all about the ego but about following a compelling yearning (i.e. it's not about getting a super yacht or becoming a billionaire).

They are usually about:

...changing your world in some way - like knowing you can heal from intergenerational trauma and not pass it onto your children, becoming totally you, all the time, no matter what.

...changing the whole world (why not!)- fighting for a particular group in need, getting into politics, contributing to a cause, bringing a new product or piece of art to the world, or starting a revolution!

...meeting another type of soul dream, like achieving a great challenge or meeting a big goal, like climbing Mt Kilimanjaro, mastering an instrument or speaking a language fluently.

So, what are your yearnings, no matter how 'far fetched' they may seem? 

Start dreaming and now notice how fast your brain is to dismiss them as ridiculous, too hard or to bring out the big guns... the shame tapes we ALL have in our minds*:

"Who do you think you are?"

and

"You're not good enough"

We ALL have these tapes. Are you going to take them for the Truth? Or will you choose to light your heart on fire anyway?

Go get em tigers!

Love,

Lara xx

*If you're interested in learning more about shame tapes read about the American social work scholar Dr Brene Brown - these tapes come from interviewing over 10,000 people about shame. It isn't just you ;) 

Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, life coach and researcher in work and wellbeing. I coach successful 30 and 40 somethings who want more fulfilling or bigger careers but doubt themselves and their options. I help them get out of their own way, find direction and go for what they really want.

Connect with me via Facebook and Instagram.